So terribly hard to find
Hardly ever on sale
Often available “only online”
Your are not made very well
Your seams rip apart
And you fall down all day—just swell
Belly panel or low-rise
You never fit quite right
I pull and I tug
But you put up a fight
Knowing I won’t wear you long
It’s money out the window
So incredibly wrong
But what options do I have?
It’s either you or nakedness
I’ll just have to deal
With your extreme awkwardness
I can’t wait ‘til you’re gone
Out of my life
And a cute baby replaces you
And my pant-wearing strife
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