You know you're a mom when...

My cousin Liz sent me a funny mom-related forward. (Thanks, Liz!) I'm listing some of my favorite parts of the email here ... with some little twists of my own.

• You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Balmex.
• You have caught spit-up in your hand, in your lap, and in your own mouth.
• You leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse. What's a date?
• You can recite Goodnight Maine and Green Eggs and Ham by heart.
• You let your baby sit in his dirty diaper until Survivor is over.
• You have shared a fifteen-minute conversation about your baby with a complete stranger at the grocery store, one at Target, and another at CVS.
• You silently curse people if they call during nap time. Sometimes the curses are out loud.
• You forgot your mother-in-law's first name because you now only refer to her as "Grandma." And you start referring to your own parents as Grammy and Gramps.
• You are just as surprised when you sleep through the night as when your child does. (!!!)
  
• You consider it a major triumph if you shower by noon. Or during the week, if I show up to work before 9:30, showered, wearing deodorant, and with brushed teeth.
• You justify every excessive crying spell with teething. Ha! Totally!
  
• You pick up the phone and call your mother when your baby rolls over for the first time. (Even if it isn't true...Andrew!)
• You have your pediatrician's telephone number on speed-dial.
• You find yourself humming the Fisher-Price Rainforest theme in the shower.
• You have dressed your baby (and yourself) in whatever is on top of the clean laundry pile.
• You cry at Johnson & Johnson commercials. (Nothing new there.)
• You have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep. Or one uninterrupted nap.
  
• You see your parents in a whole new light.
• You consider parenting to be the best, most challenging, and most rewarding job in the world.